All I’m Saying Is
Apple ads are like this scene of the Matrix:
And Droid ads are like this one:
Apple iPhone 4 Ad
A device, isolated on a stark white background. It’s clean. It’s friendly. It’s glossy. So glossy it’s almost wet.
A close-up of the device. Bright colors, cute little pictures.
The device again, still isolated. Won’t something just touch it?! A robot, perhaps? It’s begging to be touched! But I’m having a hard time imagining the sort of metal fingers that should do it.
Thank you! But wait a minute. That’s a hand. I mean, a human hand. A woman’s hand. A young woman’s hand.
And there! Another one! Doing something I do. Checking e-mail! That’s familiar to me!
A man. Isolated on a stark white background. I don’t care what he’s saying, but he’s a Senior Vice President. And bald by choice. With just enough stubble.
Here’s a woman again. In a tastefully decorated home with a small child. These are things I might want some day! A good woman, a good home, a good child, a good phone. (A rhyme a made up to remember the things I want someday).
Hmm. There are machines in this world too. But look how clean they are. That’s stainless steel. These are precision instruments. And they’re in a white room. These machines are working for us. They are building us things and I’m not even (that) scared that they will rebel and throw a glowing orb of icons at me!
Sigh. It’s over. I want to go back to that world where everything is clean and nice and friendly! I think I’ll buy a product in order to do so!
Droid Advertisement
We open in some sort of desolate concrete silo—machines sliding across the floor. They are cold, drab, and inhuman. A small device with a glowing red dot floats in the center of the room. This is the product of a thousand sci-fi nightmares mashed into thirty seconds.
But what’s this? The device projects some sort of glowing orb. Is it friend? Is it foe?
The robotic arms unravel the orb into hundreds of spindly threads. What do they contain? What force is propelling them?
The robotic “fingers” manipulate the device at the center of the orb, in turn causing the orb itself to rotate and pulsate. Is there anyone behind the robots? Are they simply extensions of some gloved scientist behind plexiglass? Are WE that scientist? Perhaps not. Perhaps they simply move randomly. Perhaps the device is in fact manipulating the metallic appendages and not the other way around.
Why do these robots care how fast they can run a mile? Do robots exercise? Side note: is this ad for a phone, an operating system, a cellular carrier? It’s hard to be sure.
At the end, we’re left with more questions than answers. The most pressing of these may in fact be the following: Are there enough nerds in the world that a company can survive solely by marketing to them?
Anonymous asked: i kill
you’ll have to be more specific…
